11 important lessons from Spider-Man 3
1. If you kill your best friend's dad, it's OK; being best friends is more important than semantic, easy-to-ignore distractions like criminal law and premeditated homicide
2. People with emo haircuts are obviously just evil versions of their normal selves
3. New York, or at least lower Manhattan, is inexplicably full of sand
4. It's OK to walk into a jazz club and yank the singer off stage mid-song. She won't get fired or in trouble or anything, even if the rest of the bar is full of patrons who have paid cover
5. 'Physics' is a bunch of nonsense someone made up in the 1600s hoping to confuse the film industry
6. If an alien life form lands on Earth, no one but a college physics professor played by Dylan Baker will care
7. #6 only applies until the life form inhabits a rubber suit, whereupon it can be defeated through the mostly inexplicable use of either (1) ringing steel tubes or (2) church bells of an obviously different pitch. Jazz arrangements containing a variety of notes, harmonies, and wide range of vibrations won't work, however, and will instead inspire the alien to break into an embarrassing dance number
8. When a superhero gains the ability to shape-shift, he/she will always miraculously shape-shift back into the same outfit. This leads one to wonder if shape-shifting also has a dry-cleaning effect
9. Women, or at least Kirsten Dunst, have no climbing ability whatsoever... especially in those scenes where imbuing a character with realistic physical abilities would inconveniently ruin several plot points
10. The last film in a trilogy must always have at least two overwrought endings
11. Despite his unquestionable awesomeness, a Bruce Campbell cameo does not rectify Rules 1-10
〜
2. People with emo haircuts are obviously just evil versions of their normal selves
3. New York, or at least lower Manhattan, is inexplicably full of sand
4. It's OK to walk into a jazz club and yank the singer off stage mid-song. She won't get fired or in trouble or anything, even if the rest of the bar is full of patrons who have paid cover
5. 'Physics' is a bunch of nonsense someone made up in the 1600s hoping to confuse the film industry
6. If an alien life form lands on Earth, no one but a college physics professor played by Dylan Baker will care
7. #6 only applies until the life form inhabits a rubber suit, whereupon it can be defeated through the mostly inexplicable use of either (1) ringing steel tubes or (2) church bells of an obviously different pitch. Jazz arrangements containing a variety of notes, harmonies, and wide range of vibrations won't work, however, and will instead inspire the alien to break into an embarrassing dance number
8. When a superhero gains the ability to shape-shift, he/she will always miraculously shape-shift back into the same outfit. This leads one to wonder if shape-shifting also has a dry-cleaning effect
9. Women, or at least Kirsten Dunst, have no climbing ability whatsoever... especially in those scenes where imbuing a character with realistic physical abilities would inconveniently ruin several plot points
10. The last film in a trilogy must always have at least two overwrought endings
11. Despite his unquestionable awesomeness, a Bruce Campbell cameo does not rectify Rules 1-10
〜
Labels: movies
posted by C. LaRoche at
03:15
4...thoughts from my fellow Saturnalians:
#1 I couldn't agree more. They messed up the Peter-Harry relationship so badly in the movie that it is completely different from the comic book canon. Harry was so far gone by the time of his death that the mere thought of reconciliation would have been laughable. Hell, his hatred for Spider-Man was so profound that even his son hated Spidey...and he was 2!
#7 is a little easier to understand if you're a long-time fan of the Spider-Man comics. The symbiote doesn't respond well to high-intensity sonics; in fact, that's pretty much the alien's only weakness. Spidey has had to rely upon that a number of times to save himself from Venom. They didn't do a good job of explaining that in the movie, and it's confused quite a few people.
By
RGM, at Wed May 23, 11:54:00 a.m. ADT
Hey Rich, good to hear from you.
Agreed on #1. I suppose the screenwriters felt they should take the standard love-triangle-friends/nemeses plot up a few notches by including a few counts of manslaughter, extortion, battery, etc.
On #2... I get the basic principle. But it would have been much better if Sam Raimi had foreshadowed the sonic weakness a little more than he did (all we got was the church scene, after all). Maybe throw something in near the beginning when the parasite first lands...
As an inconsistency, though, you would think a swing band/jazz ensemble in a bar as small as the one depicted would, perhaps by happenstance, touch on the same frequencies as the metal bars/church bells at a similar intensity. Or even a mild intensity. I understand the whole jazz number scene was intended to be tongue-in-cheek, but given the very "convenient" treatment given to the sonic weakness phenomenon, I was left a little miffed.
By
C. LaRoche, at Wed May 23, 12:37:00 p.m. ADT
Agreed, a foreshadowing scene would have been very helpful for viewers that aren't familiar with the comics. Either something in the lab with Connors, the club scene, or some little hint along the way (like Harry's jet glider).
By
RGM, at Wed May 23, 04:38:00 p.m. ADT
Who knows, maybe it's on the editing room floor.
By
C. LaRoche, at Wed May 23, 04:41:00 p.m. ADT
Post a Comment
<< Home